I pride myself on the fact that we have
raised our kids to be open hearted and inclusive to all.
They make friends with the
loners, the geeks, the fat kids, the ugly kids, and yes sometimes to my
chagrin, the annoying kids.
The princesses and the nerds
are one and the same to them.
My girls are very sensitive
to the world around them and feel things deeply. They are easily excitable but can also be
easily bummed out.
One of the things that I was
concerned about, with the girls returning to public school, was the inevitable
friend drama.
Being in a new town, in a new
school and getting used to the routine of traditional school again is hard
enough. Throw in having to find new friends to the mix and, well, we’ve got a
good recipe for some serious anxiety.
Being home-schooled the last few years, they
haven’t had to deal with any of the drama that takes place amongst girls at
school. (What IS IT with girls and their drama?)
But, all good things must
come to an end (why?) and lo and behold they are getting educated on how to
handle the wrath of the “mean girl” (shudders)
All
was going smoothly this school year. The girls liked their teachers and class
and made new friends. Thankfully, they
are such easygoing, adaptable little humans so the transition had thus far been
uncomplicated.
And
then, Lily came home from school one day
not her usual chipper self. It was hot and they were tired so we didn’t dig too
deeply.
However,
at bedtime, unable to contain her anguish any longer, she burst into tears.
She
was reluctant to talk about it, not wanting to be a “tattle tale” but she
admitted to us that a girl she thought was her friend, approached Lily and told
her, among other things, that basically Lily wasn’t “cool” enough to hang out
with them anymore.
The
fact that Lily “didn’t cuss” and was “too soft” were some of the reasons given
as to why she was being booted.
Of
course, being blindsided by this news of losing her friends, Lily teared up.
The girl then said “See, this is exactly what I mean.”
OH
MAMA BEAR. Hold it together. It’s wrong
to punch a 10 year old in her stupid face.
The
first thought that crossed my mind was “Well. Fuck that bitch!”
But,
of course, I can’t say that out loud to my 10 year old. The whole reason she was being excluded was
for NOT cussing, after all.
The
second thought was, “Wow, way to stay true to yourself Lilybug!” I
told her that one.
I
am so proud that my daughter didn’t cave to what the “cool” kids were doing and
saying and held true to her beliefs, that kid cussing is wrong. She doesn’t like bad words and regularly
scolds me when I slip up and cuss in front of her.
I told her that we were so
proud of her and that anyone who would not want to be her friend because of
such a dumb reason doesn’t deserve to be her friend. To
stay true to herself and the right people with similar values will come
along.
Sure enough, another girl
stepped up and told that stupid face mean girl that what she did wasn’t cool and
that she should apologize. (She didn’t)
Thankfully, another group of
girls, NICE girls, have since welcomed Lily into their fold. They have come by the house and they were
all very pleasant and respectful and sweet.
Talk about warming a mama’s heart.
The hardest thing about school is finding good friends.
“See, “ I told Lily after
they left. “The right people will come
to you.”
If I do nothing else right in
this life, at least I have the privilege of knowing that we have raised our
kids to be good humans.
